Wayne County to Reopen Eloise as Sanctuary for 20,000 Refugees

Wayne County to Reopen Eloise as Sanctuary for 20,000 Refugees

One of the biggest hot button issues since 2016 has been what to do with the thousands of adult male Syrian refugees looking to emigrate away from their wives and children in the middle east, in search of more exciting lives as ballers and chick-doggers. Most middle eastern countries have refused to take them in, at least until President Trump recently brokered a deal to create safe zones in multiple mid-east countries for them. German chancellor Angela Merkel has welcomed approximately 13 billion refugees into Germany with open arms, and open season on German hotties.

Multiple cities in the US have decided to ignore immigration law and christen themselves as “Sanctuary Cities”, where undocumented adorables are allowed to live without fear of the laws of the country applying to them. This is where Westland, a city in Michigan, the most progressive state in the nation, steps in.

Eloise, a former hospital and asylum in Westland, Michigan, has been closed for more than 30 years. However, it seems that the vacation may soon come to an end. Wayne county and Westland city officials have finally figured out what to do with the currently unoccupied facility. The sprawling compound, which used to house over 12,000 people, was considered a city unto itself while it was still in operation. It had its own police force, its own fire house, post office, drive-in movie theater, 3 strip clubs, and over 37 Starbucks locations. Now, Wayne County and the city of Westland are looking to convert it to a sanctuary city for over 20,000 refugees. They say that they can easily double up on capacity from the compound’s former days as an asylum.

The city is scheduled to convert the Eloise compound into luxury condos by July, featuring hardwood floors, loft style views of the city, and the latest in 4K TVs and climate-controlled carports. Officials say that it will only cost taxpayers of the city an extra $120,000 each, per year. A small price to pay to assure the lifestyle that their new neighbors deserve.

– Johnny Newz, Expert Researcher

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