Detroit Prepares to Light Non-Offensive Red Holiday Cup Instead of Traditional Christmas Tree

Detroit Prepares to Light Non-Offensive Red Holiday Cup Instead of Traditional Christmas Tree

As the non-offensive, non-denominational, non-racist and non-trigger-warning-ing holiday season moves into full-swing (no offense to non-baseball players and non-multi-partner-sex-partiers) this coming Winter, Detroit prepares to reveal and light their non-offensive red holiday cup in Detroit’s Campus Martius Park, instead of the traditional, hateful fir tree that signifies white supremacy.

In previous years, Detroit has lit an offensive, racist and problematic Christmas Tree, causing horrible undue mental trauma and stress to all non-bigoted and non-hate-filled citizens of Detroit and the surrounding area.

Proponents and opponents to the move have both made their voices heard:

“Thank the lord that Detroit has finally changed its white-privileged and bigoted ways of the past and is finally ready to join the future with progressive countries like Cuba and Switzerland. I haven’t been triggered like this since Donald Trump banned Anne Frank from entering the United States last week.” – Brittany Tiffany Taylor of West Bloomfield

“I really can’t figure out what the red cup is supposed to mean. Does anybody know?” – Hateful, Homophobic, Misogynistic, Christian racist asshole Bob Smith of Detroit

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