Detroit Police Solve All Unsolved Murders, Rapes and Other Crimes, Celebrate by Filming Choreographed #RunningManChallenge Dance Video

Detroit Police Solve All Unsolved Murders, Rapes and Other Crimes, Celebrate by Filming Choreographed #RunningManChallenge Dance Video

After finally solving the literally tens of thousands of unsolved rapes, murders, break-ins, muggings, and other violent crimes in the city of Detroit, the DPD (Detroit Police Department) celebrated by filming a choreographed dance routine for the #RunningManChallenge.

Unfortunately, while the Detroit Police were busy dancing and making sweet videos to post on Facebook, 12 more people were shot over this past weekend, which is actually a bit low for the city, considering higher numbers over other recent weekends including a spree of 17 shootings and 7 murders just a fortnight prior.

Most years, Detroit famously has the highest per capita murder rate in the entire country, and is occasionally unseated from the number one spot by the deeply competitive city of Flint, Michigan. Detroit’s semi-consistent murder count wavers between approximately 300 and 400 murders per year, with a population of around 685,000. The city of Detroit collectively breathed a temporary sigh of relief when St. Louis took the crown in 2015. That leaves Detroit at #2 for the year. So… great improvement?

Detroit isn’t doing much better in the rape department. Just a few years ago, over 15,000 rape kits were found simply stored away in a room, instead of having been sent in for processing. That represents over 15,000 rape victims and 15,000 rapists who never saw justice. These are just a small subset of people in Detroit who thought that the police were doing their jobs of investigating these crimes and seeking to catch the perpetrators. They were wrong. Much like many murders in Detroit, these rapes were never even investigated.

In total, 91.3% of Detroit’s crimes go unsolved. And that’s just a small subset of Detroit’s problems.

But, I digress. Congratulations to the Detroit police on solving the tens of thousands of unsolved murders, rapes, and other violent crimes in the city of Detroit, and taking a break to choreograph and film dance videos to post on Facebook. Great job, everyone.

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