Johnny Detroit – The Detroit Observer
Ann Arbor – More than 700 instructors from the University of Michigan are asking if they can just murder any students who try to show up to class without being vaccinated against the Covid-19 virus first. They’ve sent around a petition to get a consensus on who approves of them just killing unvaccinated students, and so far, they’ve gotten almost universal support from instructors, but only about 20% of students have signed the petition.
Many instructors expressed concern that freedom of choice may be an overrepresented demographic at the school and in society if they allow unvaccinated students to get an education.
“Our demands deserve to be met, or we refuse to return to our positions as instructors at the school. It’s not much to ask to just allow us to ice a few of them to prove a point. It’s like they’re not concerned with whether we as instructors even live or die. I don’t even know why I should return from my vacation home in Florida if they’re not going to let us kill anybody.” – Martha Van der Bloop, instructor
It’s unclear on which methods they wish to use to murder the students yet, but they say that will be worked out after they get approval to carry out the killings.
“They should totally get permission to kill us if we show up unvaccinated, I mean, if they don’t, we could die from the virus.” – Diesel Steele, student and Gender Studies major
“I’m not sure about that. It sounds like I might not get to live the rest of my life if they’re allowed to kill me.” – Dakota Parker, known white supremacist student
“We live in a democracy, so if the instructors get enough people to sign the petition, of course they should be allowed to kill the students. If they don’t like it, they should just make their own accredited university to take classes at.” – Parker Dakota, white girl and head of local Ann Arbor antifa chapter
More info to come as it rolls in.